How Soon Till Caillou?

Parental hatred of Caillou has already been well documented, so there's no need to pile on here. Instead, let's welcome The Smiths, who stopped by to record the theme song. Any time you can drag the Caillou theme song out nearly 7 minutes, it's a win for the parent.

I am just
A kid who's four
Each day I tend to grow just a little more
And I like to explore
Around nothing in particular

I'm Caaaaaiiiiiillloooouuuuuu

Chorus:
Just shut your mouth
You whiny punk
Before your dad gets totally drunk
And your mommy wants you to shut uuuupppp...
Just like everybody else does

I am a son
Who has no hair
But a gray cat with a ridiculous blue eyepatch
What's up with that?
Oh, nothing in particular

I'm Caaaaaiillllooouuuu

<chorus>

There are so many things to do
You could meet somebody who actually likes you
So we go and we turn on Sprout,
And we leave Dad out,
And he comes home and he cries
And he wants to die.

I'm Caaaaaaaiiiiiiiillllllloooouuuuuuu

When you say growing up is not tough
(Except when I've had enough)
What exactly do you mean?
See you're all of 4 f'ing years old
It's you I'd like to scold

I'm Caaaaiiiillllllooouuuuuuu

<chorus>

Caaaaiiiiiiillllllllooooouuuuu