Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Mac and Cheese Debate

Sounds like a no-brainer really, when you have a choice between a pan of hot, fresh, homemade macaroni and cheese and any number of oddly shaped store-bought mac and cheese brands cooked in boiling water. But in this episode of Point/Counterpoint, our six-year-old daughter makes a very compelling case for "the leading brand" over the homemade variety.

Actually that's false. I totally destroy her, then pile on by offering a bonus recipe for a stuffed pepper casserole that is out of this world.

Her: Kids have different taste buds than adults. They may not be quite as advanced as an adult's taste buds, and our palates may not be as discriminating, but the fact remains that Mom's macaroni and cheese, with the thick, sharp cheddar cheese, is the worst thing I've ever tasted, after her stuffed pepper casserole. In fact, I'm not allowing her to look at Pinterest again until she makes me a year's worth of hot dogs and ketchup and potato chip sandwiches.

Me: It's macaroni. And it's cheese. It's macaroni and cheese. Mom may put a little flour in it and change around some of the cheeses, but it's still just macaroni and cheese. Look, I was like you at one point in  my life-- picky eater, afraid of anything that had a vegetable in it until I was 25 years old. To this day I still don't eat asparagus, artichokes, cauliflower, cabbage, beets, eggplants, broccoli, Brussels sprouts, tomatoes unless they're diced, endive, kale, escarole, cucumbers, chick peas, snow peas, regular peas, and anything with the word "bean" in it. My great-aunt used to make jello salad stuffed with parsnips, turnips, fruit, nuts, bolts, and car parts that nobody ever ate except her fellow old people. I'd pick out every last piece of pepper and onion from my Manwich as a kid. So I know where you're coming from. Food is full of gross stuff. But not macaroni and cheese for goodness sake! There's nothing else in it! Look not even any onions "for texture."

Her: It's yucky.

Me: Can you please elaborate?

Her: The "good kind" of macaroni is the kind mom makes in the pot. They're shaped like shells or wheels or crescent moons, and the cheese either comes in a squeeze pouch that splerches all over the side of the pot, or as a powder that collects on the side of the bowl when you don't mix it thoroughly. That's the good stuff. Mom's is the "yucky" kind. Plus she just gets the recipe off of a box of pasta anyway...

Me: Shhh!!!! Look, I don't disagree with you. Any time you can ingest cheese-dust, you take the opportunity. And in my day, I ate entire boxes of Kraft macaroni and cheese. It was, and always will be, the Cheesiest. But, I'm telling you, once you give Mom's kind another chance, you'll never go back.

Her: Disgusting. Gwoss.

Me: We've warned you about your baby talk before. Did you know some of your favorite aunts also make their own macaroni and cheese?

Her: Yeah, and it's still yucky.

Me: Fine. Eat what you want. That's more for me, even though this pan could feed our entire family for a week or more. Do I need to get you a peanut butter sandwich?

Her: With brown sugar?

Me: Sure. Next week, we're having that stuffed pepper casserole, your other favorite.

Her: That's not my favorite...make sure you put enough brown sugar on my sandwich, but not too much. That's too much! Scrape some off. Oh, you scraped too much off! Start over...

You don't have to be George Stephanopoulos to see how clearly and decisively I win this debate. Even if it's true my wife just stole the mac and cheese recipe from a box. You can, however, find the recipe for the stuffed pepper casserole here. (Be sure to have plenty of peanut butter and brown sugar on hand because it's disgusting.) God Bless you Pinterest...I may not totally get you, but you've provided some wonderful meals this summer.


Anonymous said...

The poor thing, she didn't stand a chance!

Adam D said...

I heard no mention of Ketchup... it's all good. (Adam, Fodder 4 Fathers)

JC said...

The first and last time I get the last word :-)

JC said...

Ketchup is its own food group on the kid food pyramid...I'm pretty sure :-)

Post a Comment