Friday, August 16, 2013

Nine Days in Summer - Day 7 - More Sesame Stuff

Let this fella be your tour guide.
This is the seventh in a nine-part series, one part for each consecutive day I'll be home on a vacation from work. "Vacation" in a corporate American-ish sense means I'll still be checking in, checking e-mails, and doing all sorts of work-related things, except without having to put pants on, but with small people draped on me. This is what we do for the week plus before school starts back up again, my wife goes back to teaching kindergarten, and all Hell breaks loose:

Somehow, after days of cleaning, cleaning, and then some more cleaning, and then a trip to Sesame Place, the house still needed cleaning on Day 7. So we did that. We realize that maybe the 19-month-old that we keep around here is setting our efforts back a few days. The other kids certainly have no problem blaming him. Sooooo....

More silly fun stuff from Sesame Place, et al, instead:

  • This is not a list of "random" thoughts. It's not as if I took all my thoughts from today, put them in a hat, shuffled, and had my daughter arbitrarily pick six. America, stop overusing the word "random."

  • I'm no marketing genius, but seeing how successful Sesame Place is, and how connected the kids are to the characters and while at the same time enjoying the rides and the general amusement park atmosphere, I wonder if the same thing could work but with Disney characters? Would anybody go?

  • Speaking of Disney, everyone makes a big deal out of Caillou and Dora and the SuperWhy gang as some of the standout annoying cartoon characters in the history of frayed nerves, but lost in that bluster is Goofy. I understand the need for the funny, dense guy in shows but taking Larry the Cable Guy and then dumbing that down? God. I also understand the need to have a dog, I guess, but there's already Pluto, a very well-behaved dog who keeps his mouth shut unless called on and could probably actually pronounce "Mouseketool." I think Goofy gets a pass because he's "classic" Disney, but this guy has to go. Hih-huh, garsh. And to think in my soon-to-be-named, soon-to-be-built, Disney-themed theme park, Goofy probably plays a prominent role, and my kids would want their picture taken with him. Yuk.

  • As some of you already know, I was hoping against hope while standing in line for the teacups that my kids wouldn't figure out that you can make them spin out of control by turning the middle wheel. Well, they got a front-row seat watching two adolescent girls spin themselves into a whiter shade of pale, and my daughter says, "hey Dad, you have to steer it." You don't have to do anything, but if you really want to make Dad sick and end your day at 10:30, go for it. Gone are the days when I could just attribute the spinniness of the teacup to the character on the front. "That Ernie, he's always been a little rambunctious, I bet his spins fast," I'd offer to my kids. "Let's us ride the Bert teacup. Bert would lose his nuts if his teacup spun. Or Telly, let's ride Telly's." Luckily, my kids weren't strong enough to do any damage to my digestive system.

  • Speaking of Telly, who decided that it would be a good idea to introduce a monster that teaches kids that it's ok to worry about things beyond their control until they have stomach ulcers?

  • We nearly got photo-bombed by someone holding an Abby Cadabby Pass. This is the Sesame Place version of the thing that lets you skip all the lines including, apparently, the photo lines. It was our turn, and I turn around to see four kids. If I had thought for a split second longer, I'd have a picture of my kids with Cookie Monster and some other kid...perfect for Christmas cards. No-wait passes for photo lines? Welcome to the era of no attention spans. And of course, jerk parents.

  • If you happen to be the kid whose Dad called him a "motherfucker" in the park Wednesday, you're welcome to show up at our doorstep any time unannounced, no questions asked. You may have to sleep in the garage or the laundry room, but maybe that's ok with you. We almost kidnapped you the other day anyway. Same offer goes for any of you other kids out there.

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